I love "IMPACT" - it's a show on discovery health all about horrible horrible accidents that happen to people!! It's so awesome. Like right now they're talking about a guy in a car accident who got a big piece of steel rebar THROUGH HIS HEAD! And the people always survive. Sometimes they develop disabilities, but they always survive and it's so cool because they tell you about the surgeries they have to go through and the therapy, and it's just so cool. I am such a crazy morbid person sometimes.

SOON SOON SOON.

someday I will be unbearibly beautiful
and instead of you worrying for the sake of the charming, but:
ugly
fat
self-conscious
girl,
you will hit on me, you will ask me for my number,
you will ask me if I'd like to dance
you will compliment me on my health routine
and
YOU will feel intimidated by ME.

someday I will be unbearibly beautiful
and will not look at myself in the mirror
and some days laugh at my lack of progress
and some days suck in my stomach and try to imagine
and some days wish I could cut it all off with a knife
and be done with it.

someday I will be unbearibly beautiful
and girls will line up at my door, begging me to look their way
and I will buy clothes I am not embarrased of
and I will own belts that wrap around me, with several holes extra
and I will like pictures taken of me
and I people will actually see me, the me that is trapped in all this fat.