Oh Yeah.

So here's the thing.

I have certain things I gotta do. I gotta complete this course, and get myself graduated in May. I think I can do that if I just focus (which can be a struggle all on it's own, admittedly).

Then I have this job opportunity in June. I'm really really really excited about it, but I don't think I should put all my eggs in that one basket. I don't think I should but I seem to be doing it, because I HATE applying for jobs. Hate it. So much. Hate filling out all the stupid forms and I look so pathetic on paper. So idk.

And then how all my dreams just get in the way! I want a new computer, so I can have an ipod touch, and I want a car...all this besides my consuming desire for an apartment of my own. And I have no income, because all my eggs are in THAT basket. So.

I don't know what I should be doing with myself right now except getting that grade and finishing that degree. It's so frustrating because I just want it all NOW you know? I'm not a particularly patient person. I mean, waiting in line or at the doctors office or stuck in traffic, I'm fine. But waiting for my goals to get met...OMG NO. Not patient at all.

So to distract myself from this irritation I've been spending money, which I've come to realize is pretty much the exact opposite of what I should be doing, seeing how limited my funds are right now. I'm still over 600 in my savings, but that won't last if I keep doing what I've been doing...buying little things online, going out for drinks with my friends on the weekends. But these things make me feel like I'm DOING something. I can't just sit around the house and watch tv and clean and watch the days go by. That's not working out for me. I get stir crazy. I AM stir crazy. I want out of this.

- Maddie